Wrong. He’s going to play golf with a bunch of friends that are going to rip on him for wearing such a silly hat.
Funny how a 45 degree turn of the head can make a cap look so much more natural.
Don’t do the hat without the proper outfit, and the proper face, and keep it mostly to the golf course.
But as always, never fear. Try hard enough, and you could probably make it work!
Wait for It…
I hate to do this but, well, you’d prefer honesty right?
This is a cool Newsboy Cap (Gray Wool Tweed) from Gentleman’s Emporium that you could get for the great price of $29.95. I’m sure it’d slug through multitudinous seasons of torrential blizzards. After all, their slogan reads:
"Authentic Products and Old-Fashioned Service." The latter troubles me. Check their phone hours. G-Man’s Emporium is not in my slew of tried-and-true.
Now here’s the real issue (check above). Goatee bro’s ready to Rock the Casbah in his Newsboy Cap. Right?
Extree, Extree Read All About It!
Newsie caps are cool and hip and fly and stupid and all that. There are two things you gotta remember:
The newsie cap is like most clothing items one could consider a bit, “out there.” Don’t wear them if they just don’t work with your face.
And two: They look great with matching vests. Tweed on tweed, perhaps.
Newsies the Musical Cap ($25.50)
Yeah. And I read the reviews. Some dude said he was six feet tall and it fit him quite nicely. If you ask me, this is the perfect style for this hat. I have one exactly like this, but a different brand. This one’s much better than the example I’m going to post above.
Tie of a Different Groove
There’s a new trend in town, and it’s surprisingly made it’s way into men’s fashion in truly unique ways. Apparently wood has become the material of choice.
Wooden watches and sunglasses are one thing, but bowties?! I’m slightly skeptical, to say the least. Bow ties are pretty tough to tie when they’re made of silk or other slippery fabrics, so this one might give you less trouble. (I’m pretty sure you don’t have to physically tie one of these bad boys.)
But if you want to make a bold statement, and switch things up a bit, snag yourself a wooden bow tie by Two Guys. Not too flashy, and a great little conversation starter.
Ralph wooden bow tie by Two Guys ($55.00)
Keeping Warm Isn’t Cool
When it comes to long johns, I say, “Hurray!” Any interpretation you can glean from the pseudonym - be it an oblong doughnut with chocolate frosting, a spacious bathroom or pant-length underwear - I’m all for it. This blurb’s focal point being the latter, I highly encourage the use of, quite literally, “under-pants.”
My lot in life entails an abundance of bundling; my internal thermostat is set at a mind-numbing low. Therefore, I resort to the surprisingly taboo use of long johns.
For some odd reason, people find the garment a source of embarrassment. My best supposition relates the feeling back to cartoon gaggery: Some animated figure’s trousers drop, and lo and humorously behold, polka dotted long john’s are exposed.
Nonsense aside, if you’re like me and the cold’s your most dreaded foe, buy some thermal underwear and give them the “old college try.” They’re generally expensive, but well worth it when you need the extra heat.
Wear ‘em with long socks and even the most vigorous survey of your slacks will yield zero proof of an extra thermal layer. Be careful though, if you end up in some hot room, thing’s can get toasty.
REI’s got good (albeit expensive) pairs of varrying degrees of heat. The one’s above are cheap, but lack a fly (unlike most of the other brands).
Komperdell BC-Flex Fleece Long Underwear Bottoms ($54.93)
A Hat By Any Other Name…
Be you a daily hair gel jockey, or completely indifferent self stylist, there will be times in your life that you’ll need to throw head-top caution to the wind, and sling on a good old fashioned cap.
For those moments, I’d recommend donning - what is most commonly referred to as - a ‘flat cap’. There’s an incredibly long list of synonyms for this form of head-covering, so I’ll try to refer to them all in my brief discussion of the aforementioned ‘tam.’
You need not be a chimney sweep, British chauffeur or knicker clad caddy to partake in the ‘bocce hat’ tradition. In fact, I’m surprised at how unpopular these particular head warmers seem to be in our present fashion mindset. Of course, that’s only the case if we judge popularity by the number of big name designers currently emphasizing their versions of the ‘Ivy Cap.’ Remember - fashion is cyclical, a lot of what men consider “old-school” just happen to be dormant trends waiting to be reignited.
If riches flow from your pockets like water from a faucet, then by all means get the herringbone tweed piece from Burberry; just one easy payment of $450. But if you’re honestly considering dropping four and a half C-Notes for this form of ‘Dai Cap,’ I’ say save the extra dough for that personal island you’re clearly getting ready to purchase. Seriously. You can buy an expensive ‘Grandpa Harrity Cap’ for half that.
For the rest of us regular folk, you can snag a wool/cashmere blend ‘Bunnet’ for as low as $18.00 from Northern Hats. But I’d personally recommend the Ivy Cap (Black) by the same company, made from 100% sheepskin (above). It comes with flip-down ear-flaps that stay invisible until the pain in your eartips reaches an unbearable level. Plus a compelling smalltalk tidbit about the unusual fabric of your sharp new hat.
Again, I don’t know why, but a lot of “experts” emphasize the sartorial value of the bank-robber black ski cap. But I’ve always been partial towards a more innocent look. (When’s the last time you saw a guy smiling in a black ski cap?)
So take a look around the web - peruse the cyber cosmos for that perfect price and style of ‘flat cap.’ (Be sure to find out your exact hat size before placing an errant order!) And help me bring back the ‘slummers’ cap,’ because frankly, it’s taking a little too long for that cycle to finish revolving.
As a final note, remember: Built in ‘muffs should be standard in every man’s first ‘scally cap.’
Ivy Cap (Black) - %100 Sheepskin by Northern Hats ($84.00)
When the temp dips below freezing, why is that the ears are always the first to go? My entire body could be warm and cozy as could be, yet if the slightest hint of chill permeates my listening apparatuses I might as well be crafting snow angels in my birthday suit.
And to put the icy icing on the cold cake from arctic hell, a hat is often out of the question because it’ll disrupt my hair for the remainder of the day. Luckily, I’ve found an adequate solution.
You’ve probably heard of 180s before. No, they’re not a merchandising product derived from a documentary about some dude sailing the west coast of Chile. These ear mufflers wrap around the back of your head and will only rustle a fraction of your carefully crafted ‘do.’ It is an inconsequential price to pay for the comfort of your auditory senses. Plus, you can snag them at a very reasonable price.
And recently they’ve developed these handy hat substitutes so you can get them with headphones built in (with detachable cord!) With the 180s Down with Headphones, you can keep the tunes bumping and your ears toasty, without all the extra fuss of constantly readjusting your earbuds.
Down filled, water resistant, adjustable, collapsable and with built in microphone, these babies’ll significantly diminish your list of irritations during the daily walk to work.
And at thirty five bucks, this life upgrade’s a no brainer.
180s Down with Headphones ($35.00)
Say NO To Cold
During my freshman year of college one of my good friends would combat the chilly temperatures by determinedly ‘boycotting’ the cold. That might sound strange and implausible, but it seemed to work for him. I’d be bundled up beyond belief, heaving clouds of vapor into the frosty air, and as soon as a smoky complaint would fly from my chapped lips, he’d give me a puzzled look and reply innocently,
For those of us who can’t kick Jack Frost in the crotch through sheer power of will, layering up is our best option. And a good place to start arming yourself against the chill is the sweater section at J-Crew.
I personally prefer the V-Neck variety, and my fabric of choice is merino wool. Lots cheaper than cashmere (although still requiring dry-cleaning) they’re easy to wrestle over a button down, and come in an array of wonderful colors.
They offer a slew of perfectly acceptable shades, but I’m always inclined toward the brighter, more unusual hues. My personal favorites include heather blue (above), heritage green, coral, heather grape, dark turquoise and standard purple (a very fashion forward color to be donning right now.)
And if you act fast, you could still capitalize on the sale they’ve got going! (25% off and free shipping on orders over $150 if you get them before 11:59PM Eastern Time tomorrow.)
Giving snow the middle finger certainly isn’t cheap so do your best to find savings wherever possible! Worst case scenario, you’ve always got boycotting to fall back on.
Merino V-Neck Sweater ($78.00)
Cashmere Blazer ($1,095)
Because somebody’s gotta win the lottery. If you’re that guy, I suggest you look into getting one of these pricey soft jackets. Comes in royal blue, navy blue or black. They’re tailored in Canada so you know it’s good!
Or if you still have no money, like me, maybe settle for that Bandiera Stripe Tie.
Blenheim Bow Tie
By: Beau Ties Ltd. of Vermont
Modeled after Winston Churchill’s favorite, it is also named after his birthplace. My favorite churchill quote is -
"Whenever I feel the urge to exercise, I sit down and wait until the urge passes."